IVO Lawyers
Dandenong

Going through a high conflict divorce with a narcissist? You’ve probably seen these all too familiar patterns. I’m Hayder Shkara, Australian family lawyer, and in this video I break down what I call the Narcissist Playbook in Divorce - the predictable tactics narcissists use to manipulate, control, and exhaust their former partners.

I’ll show you how to recognise things like charm offensives, gaslighting, delays, smear campaigns and using children as leverage, and I’ll share practical ways to respond effectively using evidence, structure and the Biff communication method, (Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm).

If you’re dealing with divorce, property disputes or parenting challenges, this video will help you stay focused on outcomes, protect your children, your finances and your wellbeing, and avoid getting dragged into emotional games.

Topics we cover:
Charm offensive and fake calm persona
Gaslighting and rewriting reality
Delay and exhaust tactics
Smear campaigns and using the court for control
Fog of information and the DAVO strategy
Keeping children out of conflict

📌 Comment below: Which tactic are you facing most? Smear campaigns, delays or refusal to disclose financials? I may cover it in a follow up video.

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Domestic and family violence in Australia doesn’t always look the way people expect.

It doesn’t always involve sirens, shouting, or visible injuries.

In this video, I break down what domestic and family violence really looks like, how common it is, why leaving is one of the most dangerous moments, and where Australia’s systems succeed, and fail, in keeping people safe.

Using national data, real cases, and recent legal reforms, this video explores:
• The true scale of domestic and family violence in Australia
• Why emotional abuse and economic abuse are so common — and so damaging
• What coercive control actually means in practice
• How technology is being used as a tool of surveillance and control
• Why separation increases risk, rather than ending it
• The connection between domestic violence, homelessness, and financial insecurity
• What recent cases like Molly Ticehurst, Hannah Clarke, Lilie James, and Luke Batty reveal about systemic gaps
• Australia’s current reforms, including coercive control laws and family law changes
• The tension between legal intention and real-world outcomes

This isn’t a video about individual “bad relationships.”
It’s about patterns, power, and systems — and what happens when support exists on paper but doesn’t arrive in time.

⚠️ Content warning: This video discusses domestic and family violence, coercive control, and homicide. Viewer discretion advised.

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You don’t get a clean break when you share children.

You sign the divorce papers, the lawyers step back… and then you realise the hardest part is still ahead: co-parenting with someone you’re in constant conflict with.

In this video, I break down how to co-parent in high-conflict situations without burning yourself out or pulling your kids into the middle.
This isn’t about “fixing” your ex — because you can’t.
It’s about building systems that reduce conflict, protect your kids, and restore some calm to your life.

I cover practical, real-world strategies including:

- When to shift from co-parenting to parallel parenting
- How to communicate without feeding conflict (the BIFF method)
- Why less contact can actually mean more stability for children
- How to create parenting plans that stop chaos before it starts
- What communication channels work best in high-conflict dynamics
- Why “winning” arguments can cost you peace

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How do Australian courts really decide parenting cases?

If you think it comes down to who is the “better parent” or whether parenting will be 50/50, you’re not alone.

But that’s not how the Family Court actually works.

In this video, I break down how judges make parenting decisions in Australia, what the court really focuses on, and the biggest myths that cause parents to misunderstand their own cases.

- What the “best interests of the child” actually means in practice
- Why parenting cases are not about punishing parents
- The key factors judges look at when making parenting orders
- Common mistakes I see parents make in real cases
- How the court balances safety, stability, and meaningful relationships

I also share real-world insights from my experience as an Australian family lawyer, so you can understand what happens behind closed doors in parenting decisions.

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How long does divorce actually take in Australia?

Most people think divorce starts when paperwork is filed but in reality, preparation begins months earlier. In this video, I explain why January is so busy for separations, and what people should understand before taking legal steps.

This video covers:
• How long divorce preparation really takes
• Why January is peak divorce season in Australia
• What slows divorce down: children, finances, and conflict
• Why early legal advice matters even if you’re unsure
• Common mistakes people make when they rush separation

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💬 Let’s talk about what really happens when couples separate.
It’s not always just about who gets the house or the car what about the credit cards, loans, and tax debts? Who’s actually responsible for paying them?

In this episode, Harpreet Bawa, one of Sydney’s leading family lawyers from Justice Family Law Network, breaks down how property settlements and debts are handled under Australia’s Family Law Act.

We cover:
💡 How assets and liabilities are divided
💡 What’s included in the “property pool”
💡 How the May 2025 amendments to the Act have clarified shared debts and financial responsibilities after separation

Harpreet also clears up a common misconception that you’re safe from your partner’s debts just because the credit card isn’t in your name (spoiler: not always true!).

🎧 Watch the full episode to learn how to navigate property settlements, understand your legal rights, and make informed financial decisions after separation.



#FamilyLaw #HarpreetBawa #PropertySettlement #DivorceAustralia #JusticeFamilyLaw #LegalPodcast

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So, you’re in love, maybe moving in together, maybe planning a wedding and then someone drops the P-word: prenup.
But hold up… aren’t prenups just for billionaires and celebs? 👀
Actually, no! In Australia, we call them Binding Financial Agreements (BFAs) and they can save you a LOT of stress (and money) down the track.

In this video, I break down what BFAs are, why couples get them, the pros and cons, and how to decide if it’s right for you.
Let’s make law make sense 💡

#PrenupAustralia #BindingFinancialAgreement #AussieLaw #FamilyLaw #RelationshipAdvice #LegalTips #HayderShakara #PrenupExplained #AustralianLawyer #MoneyAndMarriage #LoveAndLaw

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Has your child been taken or not returned after a visit? You do have options. Here is everything you need to know about recovery orders in Australia:
✔ What a recovery order is and how it works
✔ Who can apply for one
✔ Step-by-step process to apply in the Family Court
✔ Real case study of how a child was safely returned
✔ What the court considers before making an order
✔ Tips to strengthen your affidavit and act quickly

⏰ Time is critical—the sooner you act, the better your chances of success.


👍 Like this video & subscribe for more easy-to-understand legal content.


#RecoveryOrderAustralia #FamilyLawAustralia #ChildCustodyAustralia #ParentingOrders #FamilyCourtAustralia #ChildRecoveryOrder #CustodyDisputes #ParentingArrangements #AustralianLaw #LegalAdviceAustralia

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💍 Thinking about a prenup in Australia? 🤔

Here’s what you need to know — how it works, when it’s valid, and why it could save you stress (and money) down the track. ⚖️✨

#PrenupAustralia #FamilyLawAustralia #MarriageTips #KnowYourRights #PropertySettlement #AustralianLaw

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